[This is, in a way, comfortable for Nick - she's never had many close friends, but this feels an awful lot like the sort of talks she and Andy used to have when they were younger, before they drifted apart. It's a good feeling, being someone's confidante - something she realizes she's missed.
She arches an eyebrow at the last part of what Chris says, the warning. That probably means that what he has to say is about one of his group who's here, too.]
Yeah ... OK, I promise. I won't break anyone's head in or anything, scout's honor. What happened?
[He probably should've figured out how to start, but maybe it's best that he didn't plan too much. Maybe it's better to just talk.]
This is... Gonna be long.
[Some parts he can abbreviate a little, but he's still going to end up kind of rambling a bit.]
So uh... Josh and I have known each other like, ten years. And I knew his twin sisters Hannah and Beth too. Sam was Hannah's best friend, Jess was Beth's, and everyone else in our group just sort of... Formed around the twins and Josh.
[It's possibly the strangest group of people, but still.]
Last year there was... I told you we all would have a yearly party in the frozen shithole that is Canada. So last year we were all there, and Josh and I got like, super hammered drunk and passed out. When we woke up, we found out that um... Everyone but Sam had played this really mean prank on Hannah, and she like, ran out onto the mountain. And Beth went after her.
[He sighs quietly, because that had been one of the worst days of his life, but it's one he's at least had time to deal with by now.]
We all looked for them for a long time, but uh... W-We never found them. And we didn't know at the time, but like... You know about the wendigos. They must've been attacked by one.
[He still doesn't know that for sure, even if he knows the rest of the twins' fates. But that's not something he plans to share, not because there's a problem with Nick knowing, but just because it's... Something personal to Josh. He doesn't want to tell that part without him being okay with it.]
So uh, fast-forward a year, and Josh invites the rest of us back again. Everything's like, fine for a few hours, then um... Things went all slasher-movie. Before they went monster-movie.
T-There was uh... Someone in the house. He attacked me and Ash, and when I woke up Ash and Josh were both gone. So I went looking for them, out to this shed aways from the lodge, and um... Y-You seen Saw? The whole thing was like, straight out of it.
[Which makes sense now, knowing what he does, but at the time he hadn't even made the connection. He pauses a moment because this is where things start to get really bad, and as much as he's trying to just focus on finding the words to explain he can't avoid remembering; his tone is more distant when he continues, still walking but gazing at nothing rather than where they're actually going.]
Ash and Josh were both tied up and there was this huge saw, and I had to pick which one would live. So I picked Ash, and the saw tore Josh in half.
[Nick listens quietly as Chris recounts his story for her. Losing two of their group of friends to wendigos is tragic, but the rest of it is positively shocking. Nick has seen a lot of awful things in her life - not a small amount of which had been witnessed here in Hadriel - but with the exception of the incident in Stanley Park that triggered her Becoming, nothing approaching actual horror movie levels of fuckery. She has seen Saw - the first one, anyway, because people wouldn't stop talking about how great it was - and the idea of actual people being put through something like that turns her stomach. By the time Chris arrives at the end of this section of the story, with Josh getting sawed in half, she comes to a dead stop, jaw dropped in complete abhorrence at what she's just heard.]
[He stops too, though he doesn't look at her; the small pile of stones off to the side of the road is a lot more fascinating apparently, though he really isn't looking at them either.]
Yeah.
[He doesn't know if she's shocked at the situation, or at the decision, or at how he's telling the story itself or something else or all of it together, but it doesn't matter too much right now. If he stops to reconsider it too long he won't be able to get through the rest, so he just continues.]
So um... S-So after that, Ash and I were just... Trying to get out of there, and we ran into Matt--he's the only one of us that hasn't been here yet; he's Em's boyfriend--and Em, and um, told them what happened. So they went to try to get help, and Ash and I headed back to the lodge since uh... Sam was still there.
[He hadn't even thought to check on her before trying to find Ashley, and that had been stupid. It had been stupid if there had been a real threat, and even more so knowing what he does now.]
But when we got back, we couldn't find her. And we figured that the guy that attacked us must've gone after her too.
[He takes a deep breath, still trying to keep careful distance from remembering exactly how it had felt to have just seen someone die and then be afraid that another friend might've been taken by the murderer.]
So we went looking for her. Under the lodge there was just this... Massive old hotel that had been abandoned for like, fifty years or something, and I mean, we knew we were being lead into a trap, but we couldn't just not try and find Sam.
[It had been obvious they were being set up, especially once they found the video camera that ended up being only one of many, but they couldn't just leave Sam. Leaving her could've meant abandoning her to die, and the danger was well worth the chance to save her.]
We did find her, eventually. She was um... Unconscious, I guess drugged, since she seemed okay like... Physically. But while we were trying to figure that out, the guy attacked us again.
[And this is the hardest part of the story to get through, even though he's already told this portion--without names, anyway--to someone else here. His gaze stays fixed on the ground, and he offers a weak gesture somewhat similar to a shrug.]
We woke up at a table, and um... I had a hand free, but Ash didn't, and above us were more fucking saws. And there was a gun on the table.
[He doesn't bother trying to avoid how clear the memories of this moment are, of what was said and the tone of Ashley's voice and how everything had been so terrifying and intense and dreamlike all at once.]
The saws turned on, and started coming down toward us. And the guy who'd killed Josh, he um... Told me to make another choice.
[The gun is surprisingly heavy, and Ashley is crying, and he can barely hear himself think over the sound of the blades.]
He said I could shoot Ash, or I could shoot myself. Whoever was left could live.
[Making the decision hadn't been hard, but actually doing it had been nearly impossible. Still, it had been the one choice that night that he hasn't second-guessed since; it had been the only right thing to do, and so he can look up at Nick when he says it.]
So I shot myself.
[He gives a weak smile and another shrug.]
The gun was full of blanks. Everything stopped, and the guy came into the room and took off his mask, and it was Josh.
[Nick's too horrified to do anything but listen attentively to every word that comes out of his mouth and nervously chew at the cuticle of her index finger. It's all beyond fucked up, exactly like a stupid slasher movie, and she finds herself mentally screaming with disbelief at every awful part he reveals. Chris wouldn't lie about something like this, though - Nick's pretty sure she knows him well enough by now to know that much, at least, and that only makes knowing this worse.
She gasps when he says he shot himself, eyes going wide as saucers, then narrowing to angry slits in the next moment when he tells her Josh was behind everything.]
Are you fucking ki- no, I know you're not kidding, that's - that's incredibly fucked up, Chris. Jesus.
[She's filled suddenly with a white-hot fury, shaking her head, because she doesn't want to believe it's true, even as she knows it is. Josh seemed a little weird, but this was downright sadistic.]
[That she's so horrified--and angry--both makes him feel a little guilty for putting this all on her, and at the same quietly vindicated that someone else thought it was that screwed up. His friends had, of course, but they'd very quickly had other problems to deal with and the whole prank had been relegated to the back of their minds.
But the moment everything had quieted down--while he's been here--it's been impossible to pretend it didn't happen, even if he's begun to wonder off and on if he's overreacting and should let it go. He wants, on some level, to let it go, but he just... Can't.
That's part of what talking about it is all about; running isn't working, so facing it is the only option he has left. But although speaking with Josh early in the month had at least gone over better than when Josh had first arrived, nothing had been resolved. And he doesn't want to bring up painful memories for Ashley.
But that Nick thinks it's fucked up, and that she cares, may seem minor but is actually incredibly important.]
Yeah. I mean, he was... It was revenge for what happened to the twins, and he um... He has some... There's a reason why I didn't just tell him he's on his own when he got here.
[There's several reasons, actually.]
But... Yeah. That all happened, and then like, less than an hour later there were wendigos and the guy who was teaching us how to fight them got his head taken off like, five feet from me, and um... It just...
[Everything went even more downhill. He'd gotten someone violently killed right in front of him, he hadn't saved Josh, Mike and Sam hadn't been able to either, and Josh has to be dead. There was no resolution at home, and here it just seems... Wrong to dwell on it too much, no matter how much what Josh did haunts him. He'll have a lifetime to be hurt, but only however long he and Josh remain in this place to be with a friend he's known over a decade.
His vision is blurring but he doesn't bother turning away; he's pretty sure Nick isn't going to judge if she notices.]
We're uh... All from different points in time from that night though; Josh is from like, before anything started to happen. I think the last thing Ashley remember is when I... You know. She'd never seen a wendigo until everything went down here. Emily's from like, most of the way through the night, and Jess made it off the mountain like I did.
S-So um... Yeah. That's why we're all kind of twitchy.
[It's unbelievable - absurd, even. But she does believe him, and the full weight of the horrors he's described settles heavy on her heart. She covers her mouth with her hand for a moment, imagining what it must have been like to witness the things he's told her, then drops it, shaking her head again.]
You're a much better person than me, I'll say that. If anybody pulled that shit, they'd be missing some fucking teeth at minimum.
[It does explain a lot, though. Anyone would be traumatized after surviving something as awful as that - if they did manage to survive. Would she have been able to pull through, if she were in Chris' place? Nick honestly isn't sure. She's survived a lot of things, but nothing even remotely approaching this kind of unspeakably awful.
Nick finds herself suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of unfamiliar feeling - relief. She's glad he survived that horrible night, glad he lived to tell the tale - tell her about it. Glad he insisted on being her friend, most of all. She hesitates for a second - she isn't good at comfort, and she doesn't do physical touch often, but this is an exception worth making, or at least attempting to make. Then she steps toward Chris with her arms open, ready with a hug.]
[Chris offers a weak laugh at her comment, shaking his head a little.]
I don't hit very hard.
[But he did punch Josh right after everything happened. It hadn't been about the whole prank, really--a punch wouldn't make up for something like that--but rather one very specific part of it; Josh had hit Ashley, and Chris' normally almost impossible to ignite temper had snapped.
He isn't totally sure what she's doing at first, for just a moment, simply because Nick doesn't seem to be the hugging type. But to say he could use a hug is an incredible understatement, and though he's a little hesitant at first--the only women he ever really hugs are his mom and his girlfriend--he soon returns the hug firmly and tries not to end up crying. He's only partially successful, shoulders shaking a little, but at least he keeps it mostly under control.]
[She's not the hugging type - not since her father died, not since Andy decided there wasn't any point in remaining friends. It's been probably close to a year since she's hugged anyone, aside from the incident with Lloyd nearly tackling her a few months back. But - this is OK. This is important. She recognizes it immediately.]
I can show you how to hit harder.
[Throwing punches is one thing she's fairly good at. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood:]
You tell anyone this happened and I will one hundred percent deny it. Got a reputation to uphold, after all.
[His voice is a little shaky and somewhat higher pitched than usual, as is normal when he's emotional, but he's not crying when he eventually pulls away. He even manages another tiny smile at her last comment, even if there isn't much behind it.]
No problem. S-Same here, you know? I-I'm like, super calm about everything, r-remember?
[He's been told that several times by people here, and it feels like a total lie whenever something like this happens.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[This is, in a way, comfortable for Nick - she's never had many close friends, but this feels an awful lot like the sort of talks she and Andy used to have when they were younger, before they drifted apart. It's a good feeling, being someone's confidante - something she realizes she's missed.
She arches an eyebrow at the last part of what Chris says, the warning. That probably means that what he has to say is about one of his group who's here, too.]
Yeah ... OK, I promise. I won't break anyone's head in or anything, scout's honor. What happened?
no subject
[He probably should've figured out how to start, but maybe it's best that he didn't plan too much. Maybe it's better to just talk.]
This is... Gonna be long.
[Some parts he can abbreviate a little, but he's still going to end up kind of rambling a bit.]
So uh... Josh and I have known each other like, ten years. And I knew his twin sisters Hannah and Beth too. Sam was Hannah's best friend, Jess was Beth's, and everyone else in our group just sort of... Formed around the twins and Josh.
[It's possibly the strangest group of people, but still.]
Last year there was... I told you we all would have a yearly party in the frozen shithole that is Canada. So last year we were all there, and Josh and I got like, super hammered drunk and passed out. When we woke up, we found out that um... Everyone but Sam had played this really mean prank on Hannah, and she like, ran out onto the mountain. And Beth went after her.
[He sighs quietly, because that had been one of the worst days of his life, but it's one he's at least had time to deal with by now.]
We all looked for them for a long time, but uh... W-We never found them. And we didn't know at the time, but like... You know about the wendigos. They must've been attacked by one.
[He still doesn't know that for sure, even if he knows the rest of the twins' fates. But that's not something he plans to share, not because there's a problem with Nick knowing, but just because it's... Something personal to Josh. He doesn't want to tell that part without him being okay with it.]
So uh, fast-forward a year, and Josh invites the rest of us back again. Everything's like, fine for a few hours, then um... Things went all slasher-movie. Before they went monster-movie.
T-There was uh... Someone in the house. He attacked me and Ash, and when I woke up Ash and Josh were both gone. So I went looking for them, out to this shed aways from the lodge, and um... Y-You seen Saw? The whole thing was like, straight out of it.
[Which makes sense now, knowing what he does, but at the time he hadn't even made the connection. He pauses a moment because this is where things start to get really bad, and as much as he's trying to just focus on finding the words to explain he can't avoid remembering; his tone is more distant when he continues, still walking but gazing at nothing rather than where they're actually going.]
Ash and Josh were both tied up and there was this huge saw, and I had to pick which one would live. So I picked Ash, and the saw tore Josh in half.
no subject
Holy shit, Chris. I mean - what the fuck?
tw for suicide
Yeah.
[He doesn't know if she's shocked at the situation, or at the decision, or at how he's telling the story itself or something else or all of it together, but it doesn't matter too much right now. If he stops to reconsider it too long he won't be able to get through the rest, so he just continues.]
So um... S-So after that, Ash and I were just... Trying to get out of there, and we ran into Matt--he's the only one of us that hasn't been here yet; he's Em's boyfriend--and Em, and um, told them what happened. So they went to try to get help, and Ash and I headed back to the lodge since uh... Sam was still there.
[He hadn't even thought to check on her before trying to find Ashley, and that had been stupid. It had been stupid if there had been a real threat, and even more so knowing what he does now.]
But when we got back, we couldn't find her. And we figured that the guy that attacked us must've gone after her too.
[He takes a deep breath, still trying to keep careful distance from remembering exactly how it had felt to have just seen someone die and then be afraid that another friend might've been taken by the murderer.]
So we went looking for her. Under the lodge there was just this... Massive old hotel that had been abandoned for like, fifty years or something, and I mean, we knew we were being lead into a trap, but we couldn't just not try and find Sam.
[It had been obvious they were being set up, especially once they found the video camera that ended up being only one of many, but they couldn't just leave Sam. Leaving her could've meant abandoning her to die, and the danger was well worth the chance to save her.]
We did find her, eventually. She was um... Unconscious, I guess drugged, since she seemed okay like... Physically. But while we were trying to figure that out, the guy attacked us again.
[And this is the hardest part of the story to get through, even though he's already told this portion--without names, anyway--to someone else here. His gaze stays fixed on the ground, and he offers a weak gesture somewhat similar to a shrug.]
We woke up at a table, and um... I had a hand free, but Ash didn't, and above us were more fucking saws. And there was a gun on the table.
[He doesn't bother trying to avoid how clear the memories of this moment are, of what was said and the tone of Ashley's voice and how everything had been so terrifying and intense and dreamlike all at once.]
The saws turned on, and started coming down toward us. And the guy who'd killed Josh, he um... Told me to make another choice.
[The gun is surprisingly heavy, and Ashley is crying, and he can barely hear himself think over the sound of the blades.]
He said I could shoot Ash, or I could shoot myself. Whoever was left could live.
[Making the decision hadn't been hard, but actually doing it had been nearly impossible. Still, it had been the one choice that night that he hasn't second-guessed since; it had been the only right thing to do, and so he can look up at Nick when he says it.]
So I shot myself.
[He gives a weak smile and another shrug.]
The gun was full of blanks. Everything stopped, and the guy came into the room and took off his mask, and it was Josh.
no subject
She gasps when he says he shot himself, eyes going wide as saucers, then narrowing to angry slits in the next moment when he tells her Josh was behind everything.]
Are you fucking ki- no, I know you're not kidding, that's - that's incredibly fucked up, Chris. Jesus.
[She's filled suddenly with a white-hot fury, shaking her head, because she doesn't want to believe it's true, even as she knows it is. Josh seemed a little weird, but this was downright sadistic.]
Who fuckin' does shit like that? Motherfucker.
no subject
But the moment everything had quieted down--while he's been here--it's been impossible to pretend it didn't happen, even if he's begun to wonder off and on if he's overreacting and should let it go. He wants, on some level, to let it go, but he just... Can't.
That's part of what talking about it is all about; running isn't working, so facing it is the only option he has left. But although speaking with Josh early in the month had at least gone over better than when Josh had first arrived, nothing had been resolved. And he doesn't want to bring up painful memories for Ashley.
But that Nick thinks it's fucked up, and that she cares, may seem minor but is actually incredibly important.]
Yeah. I mean, he was... It was revenge for what happened to the twins, and he um... He has some... There's a reason why I didn't just tell him he's on his own when he got here.
[There's several reasons, actually.]
But... Yeah. That all happened, and then like, less than an hour later there were wendigos and the guy who was teaching us how to fight them got his head taken off like, five feet from me, and um... It just...
[Everything went even more downhill. He'd gotten someone violently killed right in front of him, he hadn't saved Josh, Mike and Sam hadn't been able to either, and Josh has to be dead. There was no resolution at home, and here it just seems... Wrong to dwell on it too much, no matter how much what Josh did haunts him. He'll have a lifetime to be hurt, but only however long he and Josh remain in this place to be with a friend he's known over a decade.
His vision is blurring but he doesn't bother turning away; he's pretty sure Nick isn't going to judge if she notices.]
We're uh... All from different points in time from that night though; Josh is from like, before anything started to happen. I think the last thing Ashley remember is when I... You know. She'd never seen a wendigo until everything went down here. Emily's from like, most of the way through the night, and Jess made it off the mountain like I did.
S-So um... Yeah. That's why we're all kind of twitchy.
no subject
[It's unbelievable - absurd, even. But she does believe him, and the full weight of the horrors he's described settles heavy on her heart. She covers her mouth with her hand for a moment, imagining what it must have been like to witness the things he's told her, then drops it, shaking her head again.]
You're a much better person than me, I'll say that. If anybody pulled that shit, they'd be missing some fucking teeth at minimum.
[It does explain a lot, though. Anyone would be traumatized after surviving something as awful as that - if they did manage to survive. Would she have been able to pull through, if she were in Chris' place? Nick honestly isn't sure. She's survived a lot of things, but nothing even remotely approaching this kind of unspeakably awful.
Nick finds herself suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of unfamiliar feeling - relief. She's glad he survived that horrible night, glad he lived to tell the tale - tell her about it. Glad he insisted on being her friend, most of all. She hesitates for a second - she isn't good at comfort, and she doesn't do physical touch often, but this is an exception worth making, or at least attempting to make. Then she steps toward Chris with her arms open, ready with a hug.]
Hey - c'mere.
no subject
I don't hit very hard.
[But he did punch Josh right after everything happened. It hadn't been about the whole prank, really--a punch wouldn't make up for something like that--but rather one very specific part of it; Josh had hit Ashley, and Chris' normally almost impossible to ignite temper had snapped.
He isn't totally sure what she's doing at first, for just a moment, simply because Nick doesn't seem to be the hugging type. But to say he could use a hug is an incredible understatement, and though he's a little hesitant at first--the only women he ever really hugs are his mom and his girlfriend--he soon returns the hug firmly and tries not to end up crying. He's only partially successful, shoulders shaking a little, but at least he keeps it mostly under control.]
no subject
I can show you how to hit harder.
[Throwing punches is one thing she's fairly good at. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood:]
You tell anyone this happened and I will one hundred percent deny it. Got a reputation to uphold, after all.
no subject
[His voice is a little shaky and somewhat higher pitched than usual, as is normal when he's emotional, but he's not crying when he eventually pulls away. He even manages another tiny smile at her last comment, even if there isn't much behind it.]
No problem. S-Same here, you know? I-I'm like, super calm about everything, r-remember?
[He's been told that several times by people here, and it feels like a total lie whenever something like this happens.]
no subject
[Nick tugs the hem of her jacket to straighten it.]
You're secret's safe with me.
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[He takes a few deep breaths, trying to get it all together again, and his voice is steadier when he speaks again.]
So um. Scavenging trip.
[They have a job to get back to.]
no subject
[She nods, shoves her hands in her pockets.]
Where you wanna start?